Dear Future Husband of My Daughter

***I originally posted this on my old blog. I decided to transfer it over to here, too.***

Perhaps you two have already met. Perhaps you two have yet to meet. There are a few things I’d like you to know about my daughter, some of which I hope you already see and know about.

My daughter has a very large, loving, forgiving heart. She is not prone to hold grudges. I hope you will always gently hold her heart in your hands, and not abuse her willingness to forgive.

One thing I am sure you already know is that she is passionate about animals, especially cats (both domestic and wild)! Perhaps you love animals/cats as much as she does; I hope so! Because I think animals, especially cats, will always be a big part of her life.

Another thing about my daughter is she has an amazing rapport with young children. They seem almost drawn to her. She seems able to put them at ease, and is quick to comfort if someone gets hurt.

One of the most amazing things about my daughter is her strength. She was only 10 ½ when she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. The need to daily take care of that has made her in to a very strong young lady.

I know there are days she wishes she could just quit: quit having to check her blood sugars every day; quit having to take insulin shots 3-5 times a day; quit having to worry about her blood sugars going too high or too low.

Quit being scared of having it go so low, that it could send her in to a diabetic coma, or of dying because it’s gone so low. Quit worrying that she could go blind, or lose a limb, or have kidney failure, because it remains too high over the long term.

I hope you have the strength to encourage her, and morally support her, on her daily journey of diabetes care. I hope you will take the time, if you haven’t already, to learn about diabetes and how to “manage” it. Learn the signs of both high and low blood sugar. (I’ll give you one clue: when her blood sugar is high, she is a bit grouchy! ;-) ).

My daughter isn’t perfect. She was raised by a mother who isn’t perfect, either. She has lost two fathers and a stepdad in her life, too. I am hoping and praying she never experiences the pain of her own divorce!

Please be the spiritual leader of your family. Take my daughter (and my grandchildren, when/if they come along) to church each week. Pray with my daughter each day. Lead your family in daily family worship/devotional time.

Please, take my word for it: Communication is key to your marriage! Take time to have meaningful conversations with my daughter. Take time to really listen when she talks to you, too. “Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christlikeness.” (Adventist Home, page 107)

Mrs. White further counseled: “In your life union your affections are to be tributary to each other’s happiness. Each is to minister to the happiness of the other. This is the will of God concerning you. But while you are to blend as one, neither of you is to lose his or her individuality in the other. God is the owner of your individuality. Of Him you are to ask: What is right? What is wrong? How may I best fulfill the purpose of my creation?” (Adventist Home, page 103)

Encourage her to keep her individuality, to better herself, to continue learning and growing each day. Encourage her to seek and improve her talents. And don’t neglect to seek and improve your own talents! I know God has given you both several.

By the way, I hope you enjoy cooking, because she doesn’t really. Baking, yes. ;-) I’ve done my best to teach her to cook, and other homemaking skills. Maybe by the time she becomes your wife, she will actually enjoy cooking a bit.

In closing, I’d like to admonish you to love my daughter, cherish her: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” Ephesians 5:25-28, KJV.

“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:19, KJV.

Because I have done my best to teach her: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18, KJV. And “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:22-24, KJV.

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:33, KJV. The New Century Version says it this way: “But each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and a wife must respect her husband.”

Love her, show her you love her, and I know you will earn her respect. I know one method she likes to show her love for others is by giving small gifts or cards; I believe that is also how she feels loved by others, is when they bless her with small gifts or cards as well.

Son, I want you to know that I have been praying for you from the moment my daughter was born. I pray she will be a blessing to you, and that you will be a blessing to her, as well. Always keep Christ the Center of your home.

I love you; and welcome to the family! <3

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  1. Truly beautiful! I think it is fantastic that you are able to be so welcoming (there were some unwelcoming people in my husband's family towards me). And I love the scriptures you included.

  2. Great thoughts! My children are young but I do try to pray for their future spouses.

  3. What a lovely letter of advice to a lucky young man. :-) I've been praying for the future husband for my daughter since she was born as well - and more fervently as she nears adulthood!


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